So then I enter this post at 1:15AM on January 30th 2016 with the intent to write for 1/2hr and NOT rhyme. This may be a challenge. I often use rhymes as my thought and written work, though a link from Jordan reminds me too of how I should not chain myself to a format. She is one who is amazingly creative and versatile (She just published a colouring book, she is the main worship leader at the church I attend, and even went so far as to creating and spinning her own ball of yarn!)
The word I used first though in the title was neglect. I tend to neglect often some people and over tend others. We also remember that some people use a garden as a metaphor for life. I need to find balance.
I have obsessed about some other things. We know one person who I’ve over-noded, and there is the additional fact that different people grow in different ways. I need to be more careful and slow down sometimes to remember.
I breathed in… I took another breath. The name in mind Beth.
There is a full story that I have written a bit about in a book I started in 2013. The book is called ‘Finding Natalie’ and was supposed to be closed in 2015. I had gotten over the Natalie dream (a notion held in being for more than a decade) and for some strange reason I want to share the story with others. The part that would concern my Dad and some friends, is that I want not the story to be at the end; rather the end of the beginning.
About two weeks ago I had the intent to write for 1/2hr each day, and I didn’t. That’s the neglect I too have. I wander from one obsession to the next and then sometimes puddle back with some self-dislike as not staying course and following through with things. How can I plough fields if I only get a row done once in a while. I need to hold course and follow though… something I’ve not always done well.
Another major thing I need to do is restrict myself from smoking cigarettes.
I’ve smoked for 20 or so years… I know this is not a good thing. I also am inclined to not speak of positive things of cigarettes as I don’t want to think of the parts of them that I like. There also is the self-depravity of them and how they too are (sometimes) linked to self-hate. I also had a thought of ciggies recently in that when one is sparked, that it signifies the sacrifice of something else. (Magic people get that black is a sacrifice colour).
Then I think to natter of my creative works.
I’ve now about 320 different audio recordings through the past (almost) two decades, and haven’t a clue what they’re doing. I DO want to earn an income from them, though have other edgy bits about that. Partly the ideas from some that selling music isn’t rational (IE I will need a severe amount of luck and exposure) and some too have a negative viewpoint on an artist selling their music for money. WHY!?!? My issue with using my recordings for income is that I also have a negative view on marketing and don’t like using push promotion. I also have an issue with that if I want to sell a lot of music (thousands of albums) that that will cause a bit of fame or attention that I may not want.
In the past month I sent out 50-60 download codes for an album to some of my most recent Facebook conversations and a few people did download, though I don’t want to spam. I also want to help people build their lives and turn dreams to visions to goals to actuality and will help some with that. MY most severe lack (and I guess want) is financial prosperity to acquire what I want and to help others get what they want. Money is definitely a limiting factor in many people’s lives, though, for me, if I want to live in the home I’ve envisioned in my mind for the past five years, it’s not going to be built delivering pizzas.
I have learned a lot in the past few years, and I also know things are not going to magically happen. I also note that there are many ways of earning the things that we want that are not just based on basic jobs. Peoples skills and talents and abilities are what will help people find their freedom solutions. If I use music as mine, then I also note I cannot do it on my own.
My cousin Alex has linked some good things to me, and I will use them. He is a person who helps people cultivate their dreams. He has an amazing heart and also notes that there are many ways to achieve our goals. Teamwork is one of them.
For the next two years, I am on an additional journey. I have a date set for the achievement of that goal, and I will build towards it. I also note that having many dreams is (I think) a good idea so that we can work on multiple goals. I also, though, have been told that we need to focus on one thing at a time. Is that where then the idea from Survivor’s ‘voting blocks’ can be used for our dreams? That the goal is to reach a said achievement (in the game of Survivor to get to the final tribal) and that we can work with different teams and ideas towards that goal. Maybe even that we must!!!
I will not (in this post) dredge up my dreams and what I want. I also note that sometimes I have gotten in trouble for making it more about the other person and have asked too many personal questions. It comes from a great heart and place though. I had an experience two weeks ago where I was given the full hot seat chance of talking about my own story and mental health issues with a group for an hour and a half. I (sometimes) like talking about me and my life (and I guess that’s what I do when I sit down for 30 minutes in posts like this) and when I personally like getting asked personal questions, I should remember some others don’t and have been made uncomfortable by me doing so to them. “We’re all different… Just like everyone else!”
Sooooo…. with seven minutes remaining in this typing session, what are the key points I wish to convey.
We need to know what our heart yearns for. We then need to tend those dreams and goals with honest and true heart. If we keep respectful and honour those that can (and cannot) help us with our dreams, we may be allowed their support. We then can help them find their dreams so that they can grow and achieve their goals too.
Anyhow… I said no rhyming, though I’ve got five minutes to do so…..
Ciggies spark and are not always dark. They, though, could mark me for death like the dreams of Beth. Told that Seth too is part of the Victory cast and crew, though the ideas of Morris will shine and peak through. Forget not that Jared helps us too, and that the ladies of the church also will let our hearts sit well on the perch. A link from Kevin to lurch to the next textbook with a look to Elysia for the meld of the time. A trinal rhyme to help the four nodes climb into codes of thyme and how the parsley in Carolyn’s garden also remind John to remind us that none are just a pawn. Thank you to Ron for being the one I know that I love the most, yet don’t let my mother become a ghost for the fact that I still want her to host Earth when it’s time for Aeris’ birth. We know that worth is more than a dollar sign and OR a lifeline to the divine, though if to have both in the line, there is the fact that we too note that True is one for that that is NOT fine. The signs weave and cleave truth from our youth, as part of the goal is to 90 years old and still keep every single one of our teeth. (HA!! That last bit didn’t rhyme!!)
Love, Light, and Luck!!!