There are many ideas and thoughts and dreams (and attitudes) that I don’t comprehend. This session is about some things that confuse or agitate me, or just seem to trigger me to complain.
First issue I bring forth is the wonderment of why some people don’t respond to messages. My mom told me that the phone is our own tool to connect with people. This links to how some people (myself included) will not answer the phone when someone calls. I’ve had this with a few people where I just totally can’t or don’t want to chat with someone, so I don’t answer. From my mom’s comment, this makes sense. Our phones are not designed so that anyone can have direct access to us when we don’t want to talk. I accept this.
From previous posts, there also is that I tend to neglect some people, and they I too. There are some friends that I message often, and find them not to return messages. From my own actions, I should note that maybe these people just don’t want to connect or communicate. I also should remind myself of those that message me that I don’t want to chat with. This means basically for me to ‘let it go’ and not force a connection.
A similar yet different issue is with this though. When someone says that they will call or contact, and don’t, it’s a bit of a piss off. When pushed off multiple times by someone who says “I’ll call later” or “On the weekend”, and then don’t, I get tweaked by it. I think also of my own actions where there are a few people that tell me to call them (not ask) and I have found resentment for them sometimes. If people I contact don’t want to chat, I would prefer them to tell me not to contact instead of pushing back connection promises when they don’t want to chat. I also should remind myself that it’s not always easy to tell another I (or they) are not wanting to call.
I also think of the book ‘Beautiful, Do You Mind?’ and how I want to write a chapter with a bunch of modern rules. If you are to message someone, be ready for them to respond. This means that if you send a quick hi or hello to someone, and they respond right away, to not just skitch off and not be there to catch their response. Another rule I like is that if you want someone to watch a video, to send them a message with the link. I recall when working at Wendy’s (2009-2012) that when asking a person a question, that they just responded “Google it!” I take this comment as being “I don’t want to explain it, so go find it our yourself.” I also remember asking another contact for help with a video (they are a photographer/videographer by secondary profession) and was set to pay for their services. They told me to go to Google or Craigslist. I took this as an offensive response. I asked to hire them for their services, and they sent me to Google!?! Blech!
I also have been getting sick and tired of hearing my own voice. There is an atmospheric drum and bass file I downloaded a while ago where a sample was used. The sample (I think it was Steven Fry) talking of how if we’re always talking, that we will start running our own natterings and find nothing to talk about other than that that we talk about. I spoke with Elysia today, and honestly didn’t want to talk. Not because it was her, though rather that I’ve been talking so so much that I’m just sick of talking. The quote also spoke of the same with thinking. That if we are always thinking, then all we’ll have to think about is our own thought. I choose to use different channels to communicate to cause variation of my outward nature, though really think I need to continue to develop the ability to shut up and hear and listen and learn from others. If I’m always adding input or comments or thoughts or speech, how will I find new information from another. It’s hard to hear or listen when I’m babbling about my own stuff.
This also goes to writing. I think I need to stop. If KD’s prerogative or motto is ‘Learn, Love, Live, and Create’, then I should probably go back to the learning part. That I should start asking more questions and having more genuine interest in learning of other people and their lives. I need input into this life and to not be so pushy with my own thoughts, ideas, works, and communication. I still am not knowing why I want to talk so often, though please have patience with me on this. I am a very self-absorebed and interested person, though know it’s not healthy.
I won’t write for the full 1/2hr today, so I’ll stop short.
Please keep well…. remember to ask people questions… and also remember that we need to seed our dreams, and that by learning of others is also key to our shared experience.