12:55AM Monday April 25th 2016
I forget my friends. I have forgotten my intents. The lessons learned have burned away like those who wish to purge me from the fray.
There is the fact that I lack tact. I lack heart. I lack care.
I forget sometimes to make the time to be there.
Tonight I encountered a dear friend of whom I had shown neglect. I feel guilt.
A post from another primary friend also makes me think…
“It’s really amazing when two strangers become the best of friends.
It’s really sad when the best of friends become strangers”
I have become so focused on wanting to help some people that I forget to care. I have spent so much time trying to help and help facilitate people towards their hopes and goals and dreams, that I have forgotten to love and care and be there for those who may not have hopes and goals and dreams. I have become so focused on wanting to generate creative works, that I forget to stop and remind myself that I used to have a great heart.
Friends should be loved, not dear.
To me, I call some people dear when they are liked, yet I don’t feel that I love them enough. I have over tended some people with logistics and things that I think that they need without listening to their heart and tending that. I have complained that I have no family in town, and reminded that some also know there are some with friends closer than kin. I just seem to have made myself a spectacle that runs around town like a goat trying to generate value and push my creative works without having empathy for those that are not even wanting to live.
I have become flaccid with my heart… in the feeling of it.
I guess I need to repent. Not of a religious repentance for the actions I’ve made that are unholy or depraved, though rather for forgetting that people NEED love, and not just a car ride or (when I was in Magic) this crad or that.
I need to step back.
For those on this planet that I have neglected or wronged, it will not be easy (for me), though please let me know what I have done and if there is any way of atoning for the wrong I have made upon you. I wish to repent.
I often will write for thirty minutes on this pages posts, though I won’t today. This is a short read that I wish to be read. Please let me know what I may do to form a clear start with you. I am a flawed human, though human I am.
We shall talk again.