Would You Quit Rob!?!

It’d be the second most difficult thing I can yet think of, though yes.

I gave a challenge to Jeff Probst Feb 2nd 2015.  The challenge was, that if they confirmed I could play on the show Survivor, that I would quit smoking immediately.  They never gave me a response (I also had messaged Jeff every day for a week or two, and not even a “No.”)

I’m still a smoker…

I’ve been a smoker for 20-22 years.  I also recently tried Champix to quit smoking, though the side effects caused me to stop taking the medication.  I also had found myself saying to another that I didn’t want to quit smoking.  The combination of this statement, and also the irrational angry outbursts (that I thought were from the med) were the reason I quit taking the pills.

Some people are long term future people… I had seen a video (one of the whiteboard animated videos) of a description of different types of people.  They were split into five or six types based on their intents and relationships with time.  There were some people who were of the past.  People that are focused or trapped in the past are those that may recall the glory days and how the past was so wonderful, or those also that had terrible memories and fears of what happened.  The notion of both of these is that some people live in the past.

There is another type of past thinking also… The reverence and honouring of generations that lived before that allowed us.  Alternatively some other people’s views are that they are ‘ruined’ from other people from their past.

There also were the ‘future’ people.  Those that are always thinking of the future and planning for it… Shaping and moulding their futures to be what they want.  There also are future people that live in fear of the future.  Some future people may dream of the future, or fear it.  There are also another future type of person that lives for the afterlife.  Those that want to make it to heaven (and noted some may wish to be in hell) though they think not of developing and solidifying their place in this world, thinking then of the afterlife.

There also are the present people…. Those that are noded with their belief that everything happens for a reason.  That the present moment is meant to be exactly what it is due to fate or destiny or God.  There also are present based people that seek only for the immediate gratification of their wants and pleasure.

I am very much a present person.  I have difficulty thinking towards the future and planning it (some would say plans are useless anyhow (and others believe them to be crucial)).  I am also a future person.  I don’t see the future very well, though I also know that I have some long term wants that (sometimes) guide my actions towards creating a positive future.  This is what I was doing with the Feb 2nd challenge.

Due to my hedonistic nature of pleasure from ciggies, I have difficulty letting them go as I can’t imagine a future without them, and fear going without.  I also note that I like absolutes and earning my benefits and gains.  The reason of “You will live longer if you quit smoking” is a good one, though there still is no absolute of if I’d live long enough.  The timeline horizon of “If we let you experience the game if you quit.” gives me a more tangible goal (and timeline) as to what will be required.

I recall one night going through every tweet that Jeff had made (since I said I would).  In the middle of it there was a moment where I thought “What if I was tweeted right now and would have to extinguish this cigarette?”  I was terrified.

It’s not their (Survivor) responsibility at all to assist me with this quit.  I also have a firm belief I would quit on the spot, and go right into training mode.  There are two hashtags I use(d) also.  #RST (Rob’s Survivor Training) and #LetRobCompete (which was meant for enlisting the help to allow me the experience).

That’s another thing…  Do I think I could win?!?!   I really don’t think so.  Would it be one of the best and most rewarding experiences of my life?  Yes.  Would it be difficult and would I be able to handle it?  I think it’ll be more difficult that quitting smoking.

But it will be worth it.

I also caught myself contradicting, or rather correcting, a friends use of language and diction today.  They were talking of a dream situation and were saying “I would this… I would that…”  Using the word ‘would’ put a barrier between what they were talking (their dream and their want) and qualifying it as being unattainable.

I will push for my dreams.  I will not forget to use my heart.  I will tend and develop and cultivate my own (and others) understandings and lives on this planet.

I also know I commit to the challenge.

If I get a tweet from Jeff Probst that says “You can play” I will quit.  There also seems to be a safety in saying that as I also bet I will never receive that tweet.  Then again, maybe I will.  Highly unlikely, though I like that it’s not impossible.  That seems to be how I’ll sitch it.

Anyhow… natter natter…

The moral of the smoking and the past a present conversation… I am one who can’t remember a time when I didn’t smoke.  I am one who’s locked in the present sometimes and can’t feel or sense the full life that I have yet to live after I quit.  I also note that I fear quitting, and that I know it’ll be one of the best things I can do for myself.  I also know I love the lungfulls…. it’s a myriad of ideas, and some too (that have quit) that it’s comes down to one solid choice.  I don’t feel I’m ready for it, though if the challenge is accepted, it may just force me to do so.

Love, Light, and Luck y’all…




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