Who actually reads what I write?!?!
There are some friends in the past who have asked me to write for them. I usually have. I sometimes will ask friends if I CAN write for them, some have agreed. I note that that when I write TO or FOR someone, the post can hold more value. There is the additional layer of when I ask someone WHAT to write about, and they tell me!
The ability and freedom of writing is one that I like, though it also can be quite limiting. If I am writing outwards to a general audience, I sometimes lack the correct focus of having someone to write to. If I write outwards to people (like on this blog (and not just this post)) it sometimes has me wondering “What’s the point if no one reads it?!”
Ideally, I’d love to have more requests for my writing. For the Audience of One project, I’ve made about 15 or so sets of 2,001 words for people, and it’s a process I enjoy. I like knowing WHO I am writing to because often it means that I know a specific person will actually read what I’ve written, compared to scattering my words and thoughts to the wind. I also like the nodal input from people to let me know WHAT they want me to write about because then I can cater and tailor the information in a document to them knowing what they want or need to know.
Making posts on the Node in the Contialis page is seemingly a daft idea. I have gathered barely any audience or readership, though my own foolish beliefs is that if I can find out who is reading the posts, or rather, more importantly, what those who read the posts want to know, then I can focus my energy and craft towards sharing RELEVANT information.
My randomness is definitely a skill or ability that can be used for fun or interest, though it strongly lacks purpose other than the sheer ‘random’ value that it holds.
With my Keystyles (1x page of rhymes for friend(s)), I’ve used the focal point of having an intended reader, though it’s through the past year or two that I’ve learned to hone my written craft much further. I’ve barely written any keystyles recently, and think that the developments of ability (and also codal understanding) have been cultivated to a point where my growth has yet to be shown or used.
My recorded works have improved a lot also through the past few years, and though the abilities have improved, I also noted yesterday that I’m still nowhere near a professional.
What I’d love and like, is for there to be people to actually want to know things and ideas from me, and to ask for pages on topics they choose. I am obsessant about pushing my wants on people, though I also see that as a channel to generate worth and value and knowledge for others too. I may think I hold a lot of value from and with my works, though I almost blend the idea and metaphor of if someone has money and doesn’t spend it, it’s merely their own to keep. I don’t want to just hoard all my writing and recording for myself… I want to share it!! (Like being a philanthropist of information, energy, and creative works for those of my life and world).
I am a poor person $ wise, though that’s because I haven’t yet nailed down a profession or vocation that will earn me money. The talk of people holding regrets is one I’ve seen from Gary too of how older people have a lot of “I wish” statements. Though instead of saying “I wish this” or “I wish that….” I tend to know I CAN’T change the past and what I have done, though that I can fuel my intents and works and energies into “What do I want to do now”.
I can easily write (or speak) of all the things I messed up or regret, though why live in the past of what I hadn’t learned or achieved!? Instead I shall focus on what CAN I do, and also what do I WANT to do. Scoping out wants for the future (and additionally working and striving towards them) is much easier and beneficial than wishing that I had done something differently. There IS also a wealth of information and lessons from what has happened (often through incorrect action) though if I am aware of HOW and WHY I made mistakes, then I can pool together insight into how others can avoid those mistakes.
Though my information is useless, unless another may learn of and from it.
My life is messed up and all twisted from depravity and poor choices, though I DO think I can help other people avoid the pitfalls I made, and I also have the hope I can still build a full life of love and like forward from where I am. One exercise that’s often recommended is to make a gratitude list… I shall do this again, though also note that I often can be immediately aware of what IS good in my life.
I know that even if I am poor and have no money, I still can earn a develop (and also appreciate and enjoy) parts of my life that ARE good and true…. I know I’m a fool, though I’m okay with that too. My follies and failures can be used as a good lesson for others so that they don’t have to do the same stupid things that I did and, sometimes, still do. I had titled this post “What Shall I Write, and for Who?!” though the first idea I had to write about is accurate, so I’ll use that.
I have made soooooo many poor or bad choices, though being on the other side of their consequences also allows me to know how and what some people should, and should not do, so that their life isn’t as F#*Ked up as mine is.
Hashtag you… C=Stars… Connect the G’s to the reservoirs and remind the auras of the bars that I’m not one of the MCs or Rappers that is allowed to drive one of their own cars.
The tars in my lungs, and though the rungs of the ladder will find the DNA to scatter, there will be the pitter patter of Aeris and Celest (even if there is issue between whether or not with an audience I will be blessed).
Please make sure you heed some people’s advice… There often are times I didn’t heed. That’s left me to be a 38 year old who hasn’t adulted successfully. I know I’ll still for a good situation, though I want to help others make theirs even better!
Remember to dream… And be sure you let your kin and crew know what you want too!!!
Only one of me…. and there is ever only going to be one of you two too.
I do extend my offer, and intent, and heart out there. Please use me as I am meant to be used. For information and opinion and advice. For random and fun and connection. For life and growth and shared understanding. For us, for life, for the world.
Although we may be curled up into our own lives and control dramas, please let me help unfold how I refused to do what I was told. That I was too meek and too bold, and that the cold stares of the pairs that seem not to comprehend I am a loyal and diverse friend, that I forget (sometimes) to tend to The Spirit and Heart, though am definitely one to help us each with our own Contio-sociolinguistic part.
Allow me to help you. I am one who answers questions. I am one to share an idea or read or write. I am one who also has the ability to stay up late and help you with your life, even at the sacrifice of my own sleep during the night.
Live, Love, and Thrive y’all… I deem it imperative.