Through the past two to three weeks, some layered clarity.
I have found some of what I want, and what I don’t want. My process and journey has been clarifying my wants, and though I don’t know how to attain some of my wants and goals, I still think there value to have them.
One primary thing I’m getting clear on goes back to the four circles; What I love doing, what I am good at, what the world needs, and what can I get paid for.
I have been given a lot of feedback from people that writing in flowetics or codal language is NOT useful for others since they don’t understand it. If my intent is to be understood and for people to ‘get’ me, then I’ve been told I need to use understandable language.
I also have been told by a few to ‘do what you love’. If my objective is to sell albums, though, there must be a demand for them. This is a teetering point for me, and I think I choose the advice to do what I want to do (which will NOT earn me sales, and will (maybe) keep me limited $ wise). The choice to continue to share my flowetics, even if they are not wanted or needed, is for the sake of generating mastery of a skill, even if not monetizable.
I know that I love the challenge of forming a cohesive line of text that fuses twists and turns, and even half word severance, that guides to a future thought that may not have ever been thought of before.
I know that I want to gather with people and discuss their lives, to help them come to new ideas or perspectives that they might not have had otherwise. To give people the space and person to talk to to process what they need to figure out for themselves. Even to give the slight nudge to someone to trip them forward into a future that they also could not have imagined… The money and business gets in the way though.
I know I don’t want to use sales funnels. I know I don’t want to create a course for people to take, and then market it for the something+$97 price tag. I don’t want to spam people’s email boxes trying to push another person’s product or to market what I have made. I don’t want to have money as the motivation and have sales as a haunting reminder and idea when I send a note to someone.
I do want to have friends. I do want to be ‘real’, and trustworthy, and someone that another can sit with to talk about all the things in their life that they fear another may never ‘get’. Like another dear friends core value, I too want to create and maintain and cultivate sanctuary for others.
The greatest challenge I have in my life is the neurotic and obsessive want of pushing my works for money due to the want of being self-sufficient so I don’t have to rely on other sources. This one basic component (income) that is required for a person to sustain themselves is the most agitating part of the process. I also have deep fears of submitting to ‘the real world’ and working a job I hate just to fulfill another’s pocketbook or dreams at the expense of my own integrity and freedom.
I will continue to write flowetics. I will still strive to learn how to understand other people better. I will keep at pushing for some connections and edge outwards with my expanding shell to share my story. I will keep plugging away at improving my ability to communicate and be more present for others. I will keep learning how to yield, and listen, and set myself aside so that another may find their own solutions. I will find my way, and remind myself too that if money is my main concern, than I really have a wonderful situation, even if I am poor.
I send this out again to the universe. Peace, Love, Unity, Respect, and the other ‘R’s of PLU8R. The sage and classic advice of ‘do what you want’ will keep my forming and striving and pushing the boundaries of life outwards. The whim and wish of finding a way to support myself with the help and love and luck from the world is NOT the plan that I wish to have, I would like a more rational plan, though some things are formed from the point of one dreamer.
I really don’t know what to say sometimes, and that’s where the rhymes draw me forward into how the ideas are also by myself heard. The people of this world are not always ones that wish for good things to be unfurled, yet still I shall have swirled the text into how the next few years will cleanse the lens of fears and show that even if I don’t yet know the way the flows intertwine and line the creative spine, I shall keep running them well as part of what I wish to design.
Keep at ‘er y’all…. I have not a clue how to do this, though life live I shall….
Twist your love and likes into the world please!!! And keep your own dreams tended to also.