CHAPTER TEN – And What Have You Learned Robert?!
From the first book (Finding Natalie)’s chapter six, I smunk the title for this chapter. I also think of how this book, like Shared Node, should include a glossary. I have now formed the main base of this book (more than half of it) and I do like the idea of including this book as an individual title on CreateSpace, Amazon, and Kindle, though also the full form of the first three books to be held as Fragments of Intent (The First Three Fountains). This process of writing is clear for myself and my own well-being. I have learned a lot about myself writing the first three Fountains books, and I also know I have a great deal more to learn and will write more. I also have learned that I have made a lot of personal progress and that I can’t just magically ‘fix’ other people or situations. I will help, though.
A great portion of my learning and development has been in the past six months since I released the first book. Though some of the stories go back much further into the past, the damage and neurosis in my being are clearing. I also note that my intents and behaviours are continuing to evolve. I can see some mistakes that I’ve made through the years, and I also note that even if I have changed and grown a lot through the past year or so, that that’s not easily known of or comprehended by lots of my contacts. A lot of them I’ve not spoken with recently. I am lacking (some) continual friends that I can ask about my own progress. I am open to feedback, and I also will continue to develop my own openness and understanding.
The greatest things that I have learned since the first book must be that I am still very flawed and afraid of the future. I fear having pushed out from the Natalie dream, and I’m terrified that I still shall secretly be chained to her in the fact that I also fear I’ve given up. I don’t like quitting or giving up on things. I learned that I was entirely unhealthily being chained to her, and maybe that is the reason I learn to cast aside signs and wonders of her. Some songs (and poets (and even Wayne and Garth)) said that “if you let her go, and she comes back to you, then it was meant to be.”
That idea leads to another skill I’m developing. The idea to be hopeful and positive about an outcome, yet also preparing to be glad if that outcome does not occur. With the book Shared Node, Coles Books was reviewing a copy to decide if I could sell the book at their store. I prepared myself for both outcomes. If they said ‘yes’, then I would be glad to have a book signing and have the books sold there. I also knew that if they didn’t accept the book that I’d have the eight copies that were to be given to them as my own to use. They chose to not carry the book, and I am okay with that.
With the snow shoveling this year, I also have used the same technique. At the point of the snow stopping for a bit, that meant either a) the snow would return and we’d work later (more money) or b) we’d get to go home (sleep and relaxation). I think this is a key idea and lesson I should share with people. Being hopeful and glad about either outcome, though I do recall the other idea from Stephen Covey of ‘the third option’. The main premise, though, is to prepare to be glad no matter what happens. (Is that where the term of ‘looking on the bright side’ is?)
I also have learned more of my purpose, and the functions of what I’ve formed up to now. Colin gave me the idea to form a blurb or description of the works that I’ve made. I’ve not clearly stated individually what the first two books were, though am clear on this series and its relevance.
- The Fountain Series is a series of books that track the journey, growth, and development of myself and my work. The books are used as a way for me to share, learn, process, and accept my inner self. Part of the series is to purge and heal my own emotional and mental damage, though the audience for the books are those that are interested in who I am, what I have been through, and how I will work to achieve my Freedom Solution. (January 29th, 2017)
For Shared Node:
- Shared Node is a creative lyrical art piece of a style of rhyming called flowetics. The book will be tended to every three months for an additional manual review to adjust the thread of linear thought that is formed when a book is solidified in print. The book’s source files were from pages of rhyme I had written to individual people (both known, and unknown) and carries the wishes and undercurrents of myself into the future through the reader’s own comprehension. Shared Node is meant to be read for entertainment and a different way to play with reality while using some ideas and language that were uniquely formed. (January 29th, 2017)
And for Fractured Formation:
- Fractured Formation is a guidebook and bundle of advice for those people who are new to the psych ward. It very much is a self-help book for readers, though more as one of the first foundational steps on their journey back to wellness. Although, when started, I hadn’t yet secured my own profession and vocation, there are quite a few lessons that I want to share that helped me become stable and start to envision my own dreams. The goal of the book is to spark an idea, wish, or dream that can fuel a new patient to develop a path of life that they also will love. (January 29, 2017)
I’m glad to have this clarity. This may be part of the structure that I will need to move forward with my work. I’m glad that my parents have been so dearly supportive of me, and my life. Their acceptance of letting me make my own choices, and mistakes, and their suspension of criticism and judgment have allowed me to learn. As my Mom’s started to be less critical and (although an accusation) less judgmental, I’ve been less fearful of telling her about parts of my life. My Mom and I’s relationship (and openness to communication) has improved a lot, and I feel sad a bit that I hadn’t been loving her so much or honestly. I’m glad she’s allowed me to form my own path, even if I am a muddle.
My Dad is one who’s given me lots of advice through the years, though he too has been less critical and more accepting. My parents are (at this point in our relationships) showing me a lot of key behaviours, actions, and attitudes that I appreciate, and although I have (right now) barely any belief I’ll ever be a parent, a lot of their example will affect how (and what) I teach.
With a series of nine days in a row last month (January 2017) I had also written 2k words a night on the computer. Though I didn’t follow through with the daily action (I wished not to write garbage for the pure sake of having to form two thousand words each day) I did perform an exercise from Lewis’s book. I formed a list of some primary goals for seven areas of my life for the year until January 19th, 2018. I keep this list on my desktop now for daily review. (I also think back to chapter six and that message will reach its recipient).
Another cool thing!! (What Rob?!?!) I have kept up with my Italian lessons! According to DuoLingo, I am now 58% fluent in Italian! I’m not clear on how they can give that labeling, though I have noticed my comprehension improving. I cannot speak or write so clearly, and my audible understanding isn’t strong, though the practice lessons do remind me I’ve developed well. I also have started Russian, though the goal is 100% Italian fluency so that I can go to Italy again in 2018. I also will go to St. Petersburg and will be fluent in Russian by then.
Jack Canfield’s advice of a one-hundred item list blends 30 things to do, 30 things to have, and 30 things to be mixed in with Lewis’ idea of 10 things to learn. I’ve not completed my list yet, though as I was almost dry of ideas. I see it as leaving there to be space to expand. On a scale of 1-10 of how happy I am with my sight towards the future, I put it as a 5. My lack of faith is what keeps it from a 7… That I’ve not enough faith I’ll achieve. Knowing that, though, can give me my own support to push and ask for those things from myself. To lift my future from a 7-10 will be earned through the next five years (with the foundational work done in the past three months).
I set a lot of high reaching goals, and though there is the thought I set the sights too high, there is also the case I’m clear that I can argue FOR the reasons why the goals are NOT too high. They are ridiculously out of my current capacity, though what I’m learning, what I’m doing, and the growth to occur before the target dates are also pretty amazing!
I have learned to seek my own inner guidance. I have learned how to ask more questions. I have learned how to suspend my own voice to hear from others. I have learned to relax and trust a clean breath now and then. I have learned how to set aside my wants and intents and tend to others. I have learned how to set aside money for myself and others and still have enough. The Seed Funds will be fueled by 30% of all online sales of my music and books, and the idea will have far-reaching expanse and consequence. I have learned that I don’t want to be an MC and perform and that I still want to hone my craft. I have learned that my own abilities to write are also to be a tool I can use for others.
I also am learning to be more patient, to be kind to myself, to allow myself freedom points (like right now (12:10 AM) to be up a bit later) and that I also will remember to stop myself sometimes from making poor choices. Even though last night I was in bed at 3-4AM (because of shoveling snow until 3 AM) I think, right now, that I should sign off and get to bed. One of my goals is 8 hours sleep a night and to be up before 9 AM. I have read (and comprehended) the idea of forming good habits, though it’s my discipline (like daily Italian lessons and reading) that will fortify my positive future.
I rest for now… I’m not clear on when I’ll be back to the keys, though when I do, you won’t have to have waited long to get to the next paragraph.
It was the next day from the previous paragraph that I got back at this. I was up and out of bed before 9 AM this morning, and I also spent an hour reading The Success Principles before returning to this chapter. The book The Success Principles is an amazing one. (I italicized that to assert the strength of my opinion). If you want to improve your life, please please please get a copy of Jack Canfield’s book!! It will bolster your faith in yourself and your process drastically! Please, go order that book right now! (His book will be far more valuable to you than this one! Get it!!)
Six ideas that I’ve gleaned from the book (other than the 100 things to do/have/be I told you of) are:
– Accept full responsibility for your life (It’s all because of ourselves, our choices, and our actions).
– Criticism and negative feedback can be more valuable that positive feedback.
– Choosing to do five things a day towards major goals compounds our confidence in them.
– Tracking our wins and victories daily can encourage positive forward momentum.
– If we ask for things from people, we can only gain (with near zero loss if a ‘no’).
– If we are rejected from asking, we really haven’t lost anything (so ask another person!)
The book is amazing. Lewis, I thank you also for your podcast, love, and lessons (and book!). Your podcast is how I found Jack! Even if you’re not to have yet read this book, open admiration to you for performing your mission and vision to inspire one hundred million people to make a full-time living doing what they love. Even if I’m not there yet, I’ll keep at it! (And add that with the seed funds, your seed of love, hope, and faith will help many others through my work too (amplification!!))
I also am learning more about people; both known and unknown. My perceptive abilities are increasing, and my patience and compassion help with allowing myself to understand behaviours of myself as well as others. I also will continue to cultivate my humility, my awareness, my joy (crucial), and that I can care more than I used to (also very key). I too am practicing and allowing myself to choose how (and who) I will permit to be in my life. Some people, even if not by their intent, are NOT good for me and my life, and the lesson is that I am allowed to limit (and even shut out) the involvement of negativity in my life. Even if people have positive and good intentions (like Thaddeus pushing for my success in music) I know that that’s not a path I want to pursue.
Accusations by others also can be clouded by other people’s projected beliefs. Negativity and judgment are real things, and other’s viewpoints are not necessarily based on truths of ourselves. The idea of theorizing about other’s intents is not always good, and we can ask people the question “Why do you think that?” (And be sure not to be so doubtful of their honesty). Self-awareness is an exceptionally valuable thing, and I do remind myself too that other’s opinions and feedback should be checked against our own truths. The idea that what another thinks is good for us too sometimes, even if we think it not. Give yourself the space to explore negative feedback and check it with yourself too. Openness is a vital thing, though be not swayed away from your own core being if you are sure of its truth.
I just had a feeling similar to where Searching for Tomorrow closed… the pull of energy that makes me want to be done with this book and onto the next. I won’t draw into that action now and close this book, though I do note that that feeling (this being only the second time I’ve felt it) instills an idea that there is an urge to share this work with the world. The saying “The world isn’t ready for me (or it)” holds on, yet that’s because I know it may take a few years to solidify the grip and tracks of my own journey. The feeling and urge to birth the book is one that I’ll learn to manage and gives me a sign that I’m (hopefully) on the right course.
How shall we close this book? I think now (1:22 PM February 8, 2017) that I shall complete three more chapters in this book, review, edit, process, and release. I will make the book a part of the three book compilation of The Fountains of Yesterday series, though I also now think to stop the series at just the first three books (and start a new series for the next three ‘process’ books).
So if this book is the last in The Fountains of Yesterday, what will the future works be? (If you’re reading this in 2018, you’ll have access to some of them (I just didn’t know what they’ll be yet!) So, as of right now, the intent… Finish this book. Edit it. Release it solo (and as Fragments of Intent) and allow myself the feeling of having the first trinal series complete.
Love, light, luck, and life!!