I’ve clarified and honed a few things in the past few days. Though it doesn’t seem to be an increase in faith that I’m doing the right things, I think I’ve been deluding myself a bit. I’ve been talking too much and rehashing some things.
I seem to think, in the past few days, that the books are pretty well a muddle. I’ve made four of them up to now, and I’ll keep making them. I’ve also started other books I’ll complete and think they’re intriguing pieces of work. With the Fountains books, I may say some additional things about them from the past week:
- I don’t know how to push or market them.
- I was using the Seed Fund as a draw for prosperity.
- I’m still developing my faith they shall succeed.
The middle point is where I think the clarity stems; I was asking people to help the Seed Fund by buying books. I was not providing with prosperity, though instead asking for success so that I could afford to support.
The words spin in and upon themselves. I’ll help with contributions from some of my book earnings, though maybe I shouldn’t ask for help by marketing to people for sales.
I also had a weird Facebook message a few days ago. A person that I barely know had messaged me saying that they were at Dairy Queen and desperate because they didn’t have money for food. Since I was at home in my gonch and mid-laundry, the request to drop everything and go out to pay for their meal was not a very rational thing to do.
I’ve had concerns with the Seed Fund and Providing Point in that people could treat is like a mooch point. People will know I have the resources or gift cards, and then potentially use me for them. I’ve had some key (what I think) are proper uses of the fund though.
One friend was without full-time hours and was to go without food due to a lack of money. I transferred some Seed (and personal) money to them, and I think it was a good choice. The purpose of the fund is to provide for those who need help.
Another friend borrowed $50 from the fund and paid it back in about three to four days later with a $5 return given without request. I like this! The first $5 donation from another who’s not me into the Seed Fund! Two other friends also gave me $20 for Seed work; $10 for ordering the next batch of Seeds of Tomorrow books and $10 to the fund itself.
When people are honourable and maintain their promises, the fund may more easily assist.
When other people abuse, though, there could be other issues. One friend had borrowed $50 from the Seed Fund knowing that they would not be able to get more past the $50 level. They had made a promise to repay on the next Welfare day and did not follow through on their promise. They later said they would pay back the $50 the next month. They didn’t. This friend also then asked me if they could borrow more money. Even if this is an honest need, I still see it as an abuse of generosity. It’s a muddle that I’ve yet to clear.
I don’t want people to be in dependency upon others, yet at the beginning of this Fountain, I spoke of how I want to fund 300 people in town to have a home, food, and a bus pass. As the saying goes: “I’ve been making promises that I can’t cash.” Then in the middle of the process, I pivoted, restated my commitments, and moved past the process of pushing a cause that hasn’t succeeded with the previous parameters.
I maintain some of the creative earnings go to the Seed Fund, though I’m not clear on how to promote the fund itself. I’d like to get to work, market, and sell the books made, keep writing future books, and sell them too. I do leave a considerable portion of this up to the Universe to do with it what it will.
In another book, Beautiful, Do You Mind? I had some audience awareness. I’m getting clear that I write my books for near anyone who’ll read them. Fountains book audiences are anyone who’s interested in my process, progress, thoughts, journey, and work. Beautiful, Do You Mind? is for anyone who’s interested in relationships, a shared future, and ideas about communication. Built from Within is another book for anyone who’s interested in wellbeing, communication, and interpersonal connection.
I also want to help people find their pathways to freedom and other creative work. There is pretty rad contact from Lewis Howes’ mastermind Facebook page named Florencia. She’s started well on her journey and keeps moving forward!
Florencia’s started a book and group called Add Some Latino to Your Life. It’s about how to live life more vibrantly with a positive attitude. She’s a fantastic and exciting person, and she’s also super bright and confident. Her Facebook pages Flor Real and Add Some Latino to Your Life are in English, though I’ve also seen Florencia’s Spanish videos. Although I don’t yet understand the Spanish language, Florencia is so wonderfully enthused and radiant with her energy! I love the way she says things because she means them entirely from her being!
We develop into becoming capable of helping other people in ways other than money; by sharing knowledge, counsel, and advice. I like people that are open to creating and collaborating. We can, shall, and do create goodness together.
Many years ago I wanted to be a counsellor. I wanted to help people with their emotional and mental issues and help find solutions for them. The idea of being a life-coach has also spun through my mind through the past few years, though I’ve not yet sought out the training to do so.
Introversial and Providing Point is where I’ve been going with this, though. The basis is to help cultivate positive futures with and for people through creative means and invested effort and heart. There needs to be a shift to work for other people and not just ourselves with the information we’ve learned and continue to learn. We also need to earn trust from people so that they’ll allow us to be an active participant in the lives we each create.
We must gather our abilities and awareness. We’re valuable in life beyond money and resources, and I hope we each may have friends that are okay to talk about almost anything. Being a good listener and letting other people talk about their issues and lives is another way to assist. Regarding businesses and creativity, we each hopefully have some successes, like how I know about selling on eBay and the self-publishing process.
We can share our care, advice, and wisdom from ourselves and what we’ve accomplished too. If you have a willingness to meet up with people to talk and process, you also may take a break from your work and focus solely on others lives while setting yours aside. You may give them essential ideas that will help them with their work and journeys.
I’d like to expand our network of friends and contacts, though I’ve not pushed myself so far out to do so yet. When we know a diverse system of people, we may bridge connections between them, and if someone needs a service, skills, or a product, we can recommend programs or people to assist. By knowing local business owners, we also can connect them with good/decent people or friends searching for work.
I have a super strong belief in people sometimes, though I also note some more repentance. I’ve been judgmental, I’ve been reactive, and I’ve blamed some people for actions and thoughts that I don’t like. I could more often ask people the reasons as to why they do what they do. When I find people behaving in ways I don’t appreciate; I can step away and engage in dialogue about their reasons for behaviour instead of getting mad or judgmental.
I may need to be more curious about people’s motives for action instead of separating myself with anger or disapproval. There are some valid reasons people do what they do that I don’t yet understand. I need to make far fewer assumptions.
I see some of my all or nothing actions at Toastmasters. During the break, I was more comfortable to go outside and have a smoke alone instead of mixing with the people in the building. If I want positive relationships to form, I must actively engage in building them. They won’t just magically happen! I also have to work.
Facebook is a place where I check in most days, though not the way I used to use the site. I used to message every person online and also track every post on my newsfeed. I was trying too hard at pushing connections then, and now I’ve been so lax and passive that I’ve shifted from over tending to inconsistency with relationships. The standard term of balance trips in here.
With marketing, I see all sorts of stuff online and in my email inbox. I know how some people build and structure their work, projects, and programs to make money and I’d like not to use some of those tactics. Tactics also are not a bad thing. It’s great to know one’s plan as to how to earn money and make it happen. I may not strongly enough want to use push or email marketing in ways that others do, though I find my success in different ways.
Some people are all about sales funnels (which work) and also about dipping into different Facebook and Google+ groups to put themselves into the communities. Gary’s book Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook holds premises with which I also agree. There’s the premise to give, give, and give. The notion also holds to not just provide for the fact of wishing a future gain.
One could put a YouTube channel online to seek viewership, daily Instagram posts and live videos can push links and content to that platform, and with Facebook, the live video function and making a video every day can gain attention and share one’s process. A shift to webinars and selling coaching or marketing programs is an option, affiliate marketing can sell another company’s products, and the development of creative marketing work can be successful. There are a few ways that we can make money.
I could push my music and make music videos to draw attention, yet I deem that unwise for myself. I have YouTube videos, though there’s a weird twinge in me that knows I don’t want to be a musician as a full trade and focus. I make music, though it’s not central to who I am. It’s highly peripheral. Music and production was an exceptional identity that I’ve lived before, though now I’m the one who plays my music the most.
The other fact about what I’ve made in the past decade or so is that I don’t even really fall into any genre. That’s where the word Introversial came from; an invented name and word for the type of music I make. I rhyme and speak flows, though I don’t make Rap or Hip-Hop music.
Regarding being an author, I write, yes, though at the moment I type this, I, again, see writing as an extension of who I am. Maybe it’s that I’m also terrified of committing myself to a job title and being held in that label. Two years ago I gave myself a few non-standard job titles; the one that falls clearly on me is Contialitic Shoulsman.
I know there’s a good worth in calling myself a Contialitic Shoulsman. The title describes how my mind, thoughts, and work form and meld. The most crucial part, though, from my belief, is who I need to be and become to claim that vocation and profession. I need to step up and level up to represent as one who is highly honourable, compassionate and well integrated with life.
I value other people and how we’re each involved in each other’s lives and work. I had six T-shirts made that had the Contialitic Shoulsman title printed on them, and there are not many people that I know that are suited for the shirt. The first day I wore my shirt, I didn’t feel confident that I was living up to the term.
I want to form another book of rhyme like Shared Node and weave some things into the meld that have yet to be known. Because I know that books may be the way I find my gal, that’s also a reason to press on. I remind myself of the pathways I chose and choose to not forget about Lori and Elizabeth from the psych ward. Deanna, Anne, Debbie Poon, and Kyle were there also, though the stories from the psych ward are for a different book.
I’m not one who wants to use or share some things that people call ‘a key.’ The facts of my depravity had torn sorrow from my soul and stuffed guilt back into the top of my mind. I’ve been in sin. So many secrets pressed into the mental tapestry, and though it seems I share much, some secrets still seethe in our being. I feel uneasy. Is that always a thing of change? The idea, though, is that there are things that we can do to remove our self-hate.
The contrary views and other items are burned up and turned into the cup of above. They nestle kindly into the truth of 39 years in my youth. The grief is substantial, and I’ve not yet even passed the first day. There are wishes and feelings of having submitted myself to shred my terror into a secure point of what is.
I promise I’ll be there twenty years from now, yet as a part that’s changing, I’ve made choices, and still think I’ve betrayed the facts. Even if the reason is for my wellbeing, I don’t know that I must.
Thank You too for allowing me to renew and spew out the text into the next sects that pass the lass into the stellar class. It treats me like a noble gas. Brent Goble on the pass from the link as they’re out to ask me if I’m using the trees or the two primary forms of drink.
Some of the dorms hold the bold Winks of how there are things that I know I replace with the plow’s coat of grace. I note the lace and place the pace of how the Sapphire clones and hones the tones of space. I hope that you forgive me for living so free while holding the sea from the oceans of me.
My heart feels rain within it, and though it seems I can’t tend, the idea is that I’m never going to know what it’s like to be her friend. My own heart can’t assure that I’m not, even to myself, to tend past the plan and plot. Upon the cross, I set the tapestry.
Though my mastery of glee shares we see I still reside in my tide from the rise and fall of lide, ironically I slide onto the shoreline as a guide. I abide by every one of thee including the emcee; those who help flows on the path to be right and just and exact like math. God knows it’s I who must trust and see the sacred dawn to be with the key of the tree and the son of Ron.
Hired by Earth: a Contialitic Shoulsman.
June 15th, 2017
A Node in the Contialis 